Navigating Hormones, eye rolls, and an abundance of sass? Let me start with this: if you’re raising a daughter who’s entering adolescence, you need three things: grace, humor, and an unshakeable faith in Jesus. Also, maybe snacks.
One minute, she’s asking you to braid her hair and watch cartoons. The next, she’s giving you side-eye because you breathed wrong in her presence. The hormones are strong, the mood swings are real, and the eye rolls? Olympic level.
But here’s what I know for sure: God didn’t just give us daughters—He entrusted them to us. To guide them. To speak life into them. To reflect His love in a world that wants to tell them their worth is something they have to earn, wear, or filter.
So if you’re parenting a girl who’s teetering on the edge of womanhood, here are seven guiding truths I’ve found to be both life giving and sanity saving.
1. Speak Life Like It’s Your Assignment from Heaven (Because It Is)
This is ministry, mama. Right here in your messy kitchen, in car rides to volleyball practice, in the late night heart to hearts when you’re half asleep.
The world is loud. It tells our girls to be thinner, prettier, quieter but also bolder, sassier, more like her. But the Word tells them they are fearfully and wonderfully made (Psalm 139:14). So that’s what I echo every chance I get.
“You are not too much. you were made for much.”
“You were born with purpose, on purpose.”
“Sweet Girl, You are loved. Chosen. Redeemed. Not because of what you do, but because of who Jesus is.”
Even when it seems like she’s not listening, through hormones, eye rolls, and all, I trust the seeds are sinking deep. Because God’s Word never returns void.
2. Compliment What Can’t Be Seen in a Selfie
Yes, I’ll tell her she’s beautiful—because she is. But I go out of my way to affirm what the mirror can’t reflect:
“Your patience with your little brother today? That was beautiful.”
“The way you stood up for your friend—that took courage.”
“I saw how you kept your cool when you wanted to blow up. That’s strength, baby.”
I want her to know her value is eternal, not situational. That character outshines contour, every time.
3. Apologize Like a Grown Woman Who Knows Grace
Let’s just say, I’ve had to eat my fair share of humble pie.
I’ve snapped when I should’ve paused. Reacted when I should’ve reflected. And I’ve seen that look of hurt, disappointment, distance.
So I go back. I kneel beside her bed, breathe deep, and say, “I was wrong. I’m so sorry. Will you forgive me?”
Because we’re not just raising daughters, we’re modeling how to live in grace.
When she sees me own my mistakes, she learns that love doesn’t require perfection just humility and the willingness to grow.
4. Laugh Through the Awkward and the Cringey
Adolescence is full of awkward. There’s no escaping it—so why not laugh through it?
We’ve giggled over everything from shaving mishaps to truly questionable outfit choices and that one time I tried to use Gen Z slang and apparently said something horrifying.
Laughter is holy, too. It breaks the tension, bridges the gap, and reminds both of us that we’re still on the same team—even when we don’t totally “get” each other.
(Proverbs 17:22 says a cheerful heart is good medicine, and honey, some days we’re gulping it down like cough syrup.)
5. Pray Over Her! Out Loud, On Purpose
If there’s one thing I know how to do when I’m out of answers, it’s pray. And not just the quick, whispered kind (though those are lifelines too). I mean the hold her hand, lay hands on her, whisper blessings over her kind of prayer.
“Lord, protect her heart and her identity.”
“Help her stand firm when the world pulls hard.”
“Remind her who she is, and whose she is.”
And when she walks out that door with her messy bun and a little attitude, I cover her again—sometimes silently, sometimes right there on the porch.
Let her hear it. Let her feel it. And Let her know that long after I’m gone, she has been carried in prayer.
6. Model the Kind of Woman You Want Her to Become. Set aside your hormones, eye rolls, and sass – I know I have to
She’s watching. Not just when I’m “on,” but when I’m weary, messy, and over it. She notices how I handle hard days. How I speak to strangers. How I react when someone cuts me off in traffic (working on it).
If I want her to be a woman of kindness and confidence, I need to be that woman.
I want her to see me in the Word, not just quoting it. I want her to catch me worshipping when no one’s looking. I want her to hear me say, “That was tough, but God is still good.”
She doesn’t need a perfect mom. She needs a real one who knows where her strength comes from.
7. Hold Her When She’ll Let You
This one’s tender. As she gets older, hugs become fewer, quicker, and often awkward. But when she leans in, even just a little, I take it. Every time.
When she collapses on the couch next to me after a rough day, I pull her close.
When she’s quiet, unsure, needing comfort but not the words – I wrap my arms around her and say, “I’ve got you. I love you”
Sometimes she resists. That’s okay. I still offer. Because no matter how grown she seems, there’s still a little girl inside who needs her mama’s arms to be a refuge.
And I remember that even Jesus wept, embraced, and comforted. So I’ll keep offering my arms—no strings, no lectures, no conditions.
Overwhelming love. Complete presence. Always home.
Final Word, Mama to Mama
If you’re parenting through these tender, wild, sacred years—take heart. You were chosen for this exact girl, in this exact season, with your exact weaknesses and your exact prayers.
You won’t always get it right. But God is the gap-filler, the peace-bringer, the promise-keeper.
So speak life. Love well. Apologize often. Laugh hard. Hold close. And keep pressing in. because He’s walking with you every step of the way.
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Now go hug that gloriously complicated daughter of yours, if she’ll let you. If not, just sit near and remind her:
“I’m here. I always will be. And you, my love, are more treasured than you’ll ever know.”
And when you’re done, go find that chocolate. You’ve earned it.
Again. 😘
—From one mama in the trenches to another.
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